


brevity is the soul of wit

by izukillme



Category: Bleach, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Infidelity, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baristas, Blood, Cheating, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infidelity, M/M, Murder, Murder Husbands, Murder Wives, does it count if Byakuya kinda adopts Yachiru by virtue of marrying Kenpachi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26838238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izukillme/pseuds/izukillme
Summary: aka, ao3's favorite error message.a collection of 3-sentence drabbles, originally posted on tumblr, for various AU prompts.
Relationships: Arisawa Tatsuki/Inoue Orihime, Hyuuga Junpei/Izuki Shun, Izuki Shun/Takao Kazunari, Kuchiki Byakuya/Zaraki Kenpachi, Kurosaki Ichigo/Sado "Chad" Yasutora, Shihouin Yoruichi/Sui-Feng | Soifon
Kudos: 8





	1. seeker - hyuuizu, mafia AU

**Author's Note:**

> collection of 3-sentence drabbles from my [tumblr](https://cereatess.tumblr.com), from [this](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/post/630781754217742336/askboxmemes-1-give-me-a-pairing-2-give-me) ask game! requests are open, please drop them in my tumblr [ask box](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for blood, guns, murder.

“If I was a Quidditch player,”—Izuki smiled widely, and there was no warmth in his eyes—“I’d be a Seeker. Do you know why, Junpei?”

Hyuuga smiled too—he was feeling indulgent tonight—and placed a kiss on top of Izuki’s head, murmuring into his hair, “No, why?”

The same eerie grin still on his face, Izuki’s fingers pressed around the trigger of the pistol he held in his hand; as crimson splattered against the wall, he whispered softly, “It’s ‘cause I always catch a snitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment if you enjoyed~


	2. the prettiest canvas - yorusoi, serial killers AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for blood, knives, murder. they're serial killers lmao
> 
> drop an ask [here](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask)!!

If their work wasn’t already called something else, Soi-Fon would have named it art. Yoruichi’s favourite silver brushes, sharp and hard-edged, are perfect to bring out the deepest hidden facets of her beautiful crimson and carmine paints.

 _Flesh,_ she thinks dizzily as Yoruichi’s blood-slick hands roam her body, _is the prettiest canvas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment if you enjoyed~


	3. denial - chadichi, coffee shop AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay no tws for once just fluff
> 
> drop an ask [here](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask)!!

The coffee here is pure crap, and their baked goods are even worse, but somehow Ichigo finds himself coming back every day – for what reason, only God knows. Although it’s definitely not because of the barista, who is tall and muscular and whose warm brown eyes make him all melty on the inside like Yuzu’s lava cake, or whom he would very much like to lean against to listen to his heartbeat.

No, he is _not_ in denial, thank you very much, Renji!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ichigo: compares a cute boy to yuzu's out-of-the-world lava cake  
> ichigo: i don't have a crush. i DON'T
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed~


	4. i don't bite - izutaka, vampire AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um. tw for vampires, i guess. haha
> 
> drop an ask [here](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask)!!

“You’re… a vampire?” Izuki sounds half-skeptical, but there’s a hint of something else in his voice, something awfully familiar that Takao can’t quite place. And then—and then he’s doubling over and choking out, “S—so I can call you— _bloody fucking gorgeous,_ h—huh? _Kitakore!”_

“I—” Takao says faintly, because there’s nothing else he can think to reply, because he’d been an idiot to worry because _of course Izuki would make a fucking pun_ and just take it in stride like he did everything—and _oh,_ he’s so head-over-heels for this stupid(ly sweet) human and this probably means he’s screwed to hell and back but he simply doesn’t care because it’s _Izuki_ and he’d give the goddamn world for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takao: so im an undead bloodsucking monster  
> izuki: awesome!! i get to make more shitty puns now!  
> takao: marry me
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed~


	5. in which yachiru is a little shit - byaken, parents AU (of a sort?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop an ask [here](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask)!!

“I don’t fuckin’ believe it,” Kenpachi snaps, throwing his hands up in the air, “you lost Yachiru again, Byakuya, this is _bullshit,_ you _promised_ you’d take care of her like your own and now—” and he doesn’t even finish his sentence, just stomps off angrily to find her.

Byakuya sighs after his husband and undoes his jacket—Yachiru jumps out, grinning widely, and he shakes his head at her, saying, “Keep that up and I’ll be sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future.”

“That was kind of the whole plan,” Yachiru says, a little _too_ innocently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yachiru is a brat and we love her for it
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed~


	6. want everything you don't have, have everything you don't want - tatsuhime, cheating AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for infidelity and cheating. and also big ouch.
> 
> drop an ask [here](https://cereatess.tumblr.com/ask)!!

Orihime knows it’s wrong, but she can’t help it—can’t help sucking at the other girl’s mouth, tasting honey and vinegar and loving every second of this. Can’t help thinking of _her_ when she’s with Tatsuki, dreaming of sliding her hands down a body that isn’t hard with muscle and fisting her fingers in hair just a shade lighter than jet-black.

Sometimes, falling out of love hurts worse than falling in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this hurt me to write. yep, thats supposed to be rukia, tho i do think rukia doesnt know that hime and tatsuki are tgt. she'd never condone it otherwise
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed~


	7. a light in the dark - izukuro, post-canon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt strictly an AU so it isnt 3 sentences either but- it came for the same ask game <3

“You can’t always hide in the shadows, you know,” Shun says gently, rubbing his hand over Tetsuya’s upper arm.

“I don’t _try_ to hide. It’s not my fault people don’t see me.” 

Tetsuya’s voice comes out more petulant than he’d meant, and he wants to cover his face. But Shun’s eyes are warm like twin smudges of charcoal, the simmering embers that keep the room heated and lull you into a comforting sleep, and suddenly Tetsuya can’t tear his gaze away from the other.

“I see you,” Shun says, but that’s not all Tetsuya hears. There’s so much more said in the way his eyes crinkle, in the rare smile he’s smiling that lights up his whole face.

Tetsuya hears it all, and is warm from within.


End file.
